YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A PRETTY FLOWER!!!

So yesterday Teri took me on a Mystery Date (this one, not this one) to the Rose Festival at the Park of Roses in Whetstone Park in Columbus (that's a lot of prepositional phrases). It was very sweet of her, and a good time was had by all (Sparky came with us too). What I did notice is that apparently roses and Rose Festivals bring out the lesbians in droves. Honestly, just being there made me feel even more like a lesbian trapped in a man's body than normal. My inner lesbian just wanted to get gay all over Teri. I controlled myself though. I am a gentleman after all. There was one particular "couple" that looked more manly than me. Just looking at them made me feel effeminate and I wondered to myself if the even more butch of the two had a larger package than me. I honestly don't ever want to get the answer to that question...for a number of reasons, most of which are vomit-inducing. We also discussed Jazz's theory on lesbians that they're just "women in their 40's who have given up on finding a man". Unlike the other lesbian couples, Teri and I went home in her Honda, not in a Subaru. On our way home though I spotted another lesbian couple on a motorcycle (dyke bike?) headed into the park.

No Darren, it's never as nice in real life as you hope it will be. It's a good thing Teri is so hawt to make up for the visual unpleasantness provided by others. She was like sorbet for my eyes. The cinnamon-coated pecans were like cinnamon-coated pecans for my mouth. Delicious. Thanks again for the wonderful mystery date Red.