With the end of the year fast approaching, it's not too soon to start thinking about tax season. I've decided that I'll take a new approach this year. Sure, I'll still go the regular route of taking itemized tax deductions. However, I will also add tax seductions to my list. I will romance America in a way that she's never been romanced before, and she'll forget all about my tax burden. I don't want to give away all my secrets, but rest assured that there will be candles, flowers, incense and body oils of all kinds involved. I will take America away to a different time and place where she may imagine herself as a princess riding through a meadow of orchids on the back of unicorn, as that is her wont.
I will remind her how special she is and how much she is loved. The dew of my tenderness will be upon her. Rather than asking for monetary contributions from me, she will lay her treasure out before me. I will partake of only an appropriate amount, as I am a gentleman in every sense of the word. Mutual gratitude will be exchanged afterward. Before parting ways, I will remind America that tax season will come again the following year that she may await it in breathless anticipation. She will appreciate my loving candor. Some people love America. I prefer to make love to America.
Who needs an accountant when you've got such a brilliant plan as the one I've concocted? To America, I'll be seeing you real soon baby.
1 comment:
A solid plan! But does America know you're seduction isn't for her exclusively? Granted, as America she should be used to fleeting affections, but really, Matt, it seems harsh to make her fall for you in that way.
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