Get On That!
So I usually watch the Today show in the morning when I'm eating breakfast to see the traffic report and weather (then I usually watch something I've DVRed so I don't have to listen to the cloying sound of Meredith Viera's voice blathering on about things nobody cares about), and today they had some couples on who have been married for a number of years and had decided to have sex a bunch more to rejuvenate the marriage. One couple copped to committing coitus for 101 consecutive days.
It was an interesting segment. They were talking about how when they had sex even when they weren't feeling like it, it brought them closer together and they put the little irritations in their marriage into perspective. Please note before reading any further (as you already probably know) that I'm unmarried and am quite possibly just talking out of my ass on this. After reading the book Sex God by Rob Bell, and realizing that God gave us marriage and sex as a picture, however imperfect, of what our relationship is supposed to be with Him and how intimate he wants to be with us. When one of the husbands on the Today show made the point that it's not feasible to be intimate every day but it's bad to be intimate rarely, I had to disagree with him. If he had said 'physically intimate', I would have agreed, but shouldn't you at least try to have some sort of intimacy every day (or at least close to it)? After all, we don't have sex with God when we're being intimate with him.
God wants to be intimate with us every day, so why should a marriage be different? Sure, God's perfect and spouses aren't, so I realize that trying to make a marriage an exact picture of the kind of relationship God wants with us isn't possible (and really, are any of our relationships with God exactly what He wants them to be?), but how much better would many marriages be if people tried for that unattainable goal? If you're reading this, you know I'm a perfectionist, so that line of thinking shouldn't surprise you in the least.
They gave a little factoid that recently married couples have sex, on average, 109 times a year. If you're married and your number is a lot lower than that, when you get home to your spouse tonight (or if you're already home, feel free when you're done reading this), get on that! It's an act of worship.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
One More Step
So last weekend was spent with Teri and her family at her brother's hacienda by Detroit. There are a lot of things that happened that I wish I could remember to write about, but here are the highlights. On the drive up on Saturday, Teri's parents hopped into her grandparents car so her dad could drive, which left me driving the CR-V with Teri. She reminded me that she likes how I think out loud about what's going on when I'm driving. I would expect that to be something that would irritate other people to no end, but she thinks it's cute. How awesome is she? (In case you're simple, the answer to that question is "very awesome".) It was also nice to just have some alone time with her, the type of thing that would be in short supply until last night.
When we arrived and Teri's grandma was talking to Callie (Teri's niece), she said that "Aunt TT (Teri) and Uncle Matt are here". Then Teri's mom let an "Uncle Matt" slip too. I liked the sound of it both times. Very much. After we had lunch, we headed out for our afternoon excursion, which Teri was keeping a surprise for me. (Remember, she's very awesome.) We went to the Henry Ford museum, which also doubles as a "history of transportation and Americana in the late 19th and 20th centuries". There is also a fun outdoor part that has a bunch of buildings and homes and a glass-blowing shop from the late 1800s. We all had fun riding the carousel, and Callie's dog was a very trusty steed indeed. I should mention that Tim (Teri's brother) hooked us up with the Tim Price All-Access Pass that his work provided. Fun day + free = more fun day. The only downside was that we got stuck in the rain whilst outside. I can say that, while pina coladas are tasty, getting caught in the rain isn't all it's cracked up to be.
On the way back from our wonderful afternoon outing, we saw a guy driving his car while wearing a Spider-man mask. It wasn't one of those crappy plastic masks that you wear for Halloween as a kid and keep sticking your tongue in the mouth slit either. It was the whole shebang that you pull over your head to completely hide your secret identity. I'm curious as to the ne'erdowellery that lad was subverting in his green Saturn sedan. The world may never know. Then we stopped so Charlie (Teri's dad) could refuel our horseless carriage, and I headed inside to score some chocolate deliciousness for Teri, as she is a chocolate addict and needed a fix after having gone through the chocolate exhibit at the museum. It was at the point where I was paying for the M&Ms that I realized I had left my ATM card in the machine on Friday (Idiot!!). (I called later and got everything straightened out and my new card is on its way, but I digress.)
When we got back to the hacienda, the power had been knocked out from the earlier storm-passing-through-ness that had occurred. Tim grilled up some delicious BBQ chicken and we had yet another tasty meal. Then we took a walk and Callie's brain moved faster than her legs a couple times and she fell. When she was asked if anything was broken she said "yes"; when she was asked what was broken she responded with "me". Adorable.
The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur now because I was tired, but the electricity did come back on before it got dark and birthday presents were opened. One of the highlights to the whole trip was getting to say goodnight to Teri but not having to say goodbye for the first time. I could get very used to that. It was actually a bit difficult to fall asleep Saturday night because I knew that I'd get to see Teri first thing in the morning when I got up and I was super excited about that. After the dog's barking roused me from my slumber, I did get to see Teri. Then I got to kiss her. That was one of the best kisses ever, even if I wasn't really awake yet. It was the kind of kiss I'll probably never forget.
We had pancakes for breakfast, and Callie needed hers cut up. I asked if she wanted me to cut it for her and she said "You're a big, strong guy, so you can cut it up for me.". Adorable again. We then headed out for church where I was hug-raped by the greeter and some other woman in a secondary greeting capacity. It was all good though because God dropped some knowledge on me that I needed to hear and we got some coffee. For lunch we had delicious brats with sauerkraut (good call Lisa [Teri's sister-in-law if you don't know]!). Then Teri, Callie and I decorated the birthday cake with "leprechaun poo" and sprinkles. It was a delicious cake. Aftter having eaten too much, it was time to relax and almost take a nap. Then Teri and I took a walk by ourselves. Very good alone time.
Teri got to have a ride on Tim's motorcycle (his first ever passenger), and I got the nickname Little Matt. Apparently Lisa has a brother who is also named Matt and he's 7 ft tall. I've never been Little Matt before. I'm still adjusting to it. Baby Ben also stood on his own for the first time. Goodbyes were said and we set out for C-bus.
Teri's parents dropped her and I off at my house, and I took her home. We fed and walked Sparky and ended the night with a conversation, the contents of which will not be posted online. I'm still smiling thinking about it though. A lot. It makes me even more excited for the future.
Yeah, this turned into a bigmegahugelong post, but it was an awesomesweetfantasticfun weekend, so what do you expect? Thank you for inviting me Teri, and thank you for winking at me.
So last weekend was spent with Teri and her family at her brother's hacienda by Detroit. There are a lot of things that happened that I wish I could remember to write about, but here are the highlights. On the drive up on Saturday, Teri's parents hopped into her grandparents car so her dad could drive, which left me driving the CR-V with Teri. She reminded me that she likes how I think out loud about what's going on when I'm driving. I would expect that to be something that would irritate other people to no end, but she thinks it's cute. How awesome is she? (In case you're simple, the answer to that question is "very awesome".) It was also nice to just have some alone time with her, the type of thing that would be in short supply until last night.
When we arrived and Teri's grandma was talking to Callie (Teri's niece), she said that "Aunt TT (Teri) and Uncle Matt are here". Then Teri's mom let an "Uncle Matt" slip too. I liked the sound of it both times. Very much. After we had lunch, we headed out for our afternoon excursion, which Teri was keeping a surprise for me. (Remember, she's very awesome.) We went to the Henry Ford museum, which also doubles as a "history of transportation and Americana in the late 19th and 20th centuries". There is also a fun outdoor part that has a bunch of buildings and homes and a glass-blowing shop from the late 1800s. We all had fun riding the carousel, and Callie's dog was a very trusty steed indeed. I should mention that Tim (Teri's brother) hooked us up with the Tim Price All-Access Pass that his work provided. Fun day + free = more fun day. The only downside was that we got stuck in the rain whilst outside. I can say that, while pina coladas are tasty, getting caught in the rain isn't all it's cracked up to be.
On the way back from our wonderful afternoon outing, we saw a guy driving his car while wearing a Spider-man mask. It wasn't one of those crappy plastic masks that you wear for Halloween as a kid and keep sticking your tongue in the mouth slit either. It was the whole shebang that you pull over your head to completely hide your secret identity. I'm curious as to the ne'erdowellery that lad was subverting in his green Saturn sedan. The world may never know. Then we stopped so Charlie (Teri's dad) could refuel our horseless carriage, and I headed inside to score some chocolate deliciousness for Teri, as she is a chocolate addict and needed a fix after having gone through the chocolate exhibit at the museum. It was at the point where I was paying for the M&Ms that I realized I had left my ATM card in the machine on Friday (Idiot!!). (I called later and got everything straightened out and my new card is on its way, but I digress.)
When we got back to the hacienda, the power had been knocked out from the earlier storm-passing-through-ness that had occurred. Tim grilled up some delicious BBQ chicken and we had yet another tasty meal. Then we took a walk and Callie's brain moved faster than her legs a couple times and she fell. When she was asked if anything was broken she said "yes"; when she was asked what was broken she responded with "me". Adorable.
The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur now because I was tired, but the electricity did come back on before it got dark and birthday presents were opened. One of the highlights to the whole trip was getting to say goodnight to Teri but not having to say goodbye for the first time. I could get very used to that. It was actually a bit difficult to fall asleep Saturday night because I knew that I'd get to see Teri first thing in the morning when I got up and I was super excited about that. After the dog's barking roused me from my slumber, I did get to see Teri. Then I got to kiss her. That was one of the best kisses ever, even if I wasn't really awake yet. It was the kind of kiss I'll probably never forget.
We had pancakes for breakfast, and Callie needed hers cut up. I asked if she wanted me to cut it for her and she said "You're a big, strong guy, so you can cut it up for me.". Adorable again. We then headed out for church where I was hug-raped by the greeter and some other woman in a secondary greeting capacity. It was all good though because God dropped some knowledge on me that I needed to hear and we got some coffee. For lunch we had delicious brats with sauerkraut (good call Lisa [Teri's sister-in-law if you don't know]!). Then Teri, Callie and I decorated the birthday cake with "leprechaun poo" and sprinkles. It was a delicious cake. Aftter having eaten too much, it was time to relax and almost take a nap. Then Teri and I took a walk by ourselves. Very good alone time.
Teri got to have a ride on Tim's motorcycle (his first ever passenger), and I got the nickname Little Matt. Apparently Lisa has a brother who is also named Matt and he's 7 ft tall. I've never been Little Matt before. I'm still adjusting to it. Baby Ben also stood on his own for the first time. Goodbyes were said and we set out for C-bus.
Teri's parents dropped her and I off at my house, and I took her home. We fed and walked Sparky and ended the night with a conversation, the contents of which will not be posted online. I'm still smiling thinking about it though. A lot. It makes me even more excited for the future.
Yeah, this turned into a bigmegahugelong post, but it was an awesomesweetfantasticfun weekend, so what do you expect? Thank you for inviting me Teri, and thank you for winking at me.
Friday, June 20, 2008
I Hate Shopping!
Okay, so I've never been one to look forward to running errands and going shopping and all that goes into that: traffic, crowds, etc. My thinking on that over the past couple of months has changed though. Last night I got to go run errands with Teri, and it was such a fun evening. It certainly didn't hurt that she looked way cute last night. That bears repeating. Good lord did she look good last night! There was shopping for running gear and birthday presents and birthday cake mix gettery, none of which sound particularly like a thrill ride. After 4 days of not seeing her though, it was just so nice to get to spend the evening with Teri again. She makes all that stuff better just by being there. Now I'm really looking forward to our upcoming weekend near Detroit. No, it's not actually in Detroit. I'm sure that where we'll be has been nice more recently than when it was a forest.
Okay, so I've never been one to look forward to running errands and going shopping and all that goes into that: traffic, crowds, etc. My thinking on that over the past couple of months has changed though. Last night I got to go run errands with Teri, and it was such a fun evening. It certainly didn't hurt that she looked way cute last night. That bears repeating. Good lord did she look good last night! There was shopping for running gear and birthday presents and birthday cake mix gettery, none of which sound particularly like a thrill ride. After 4 days of not seeing her though, it was just so nice to get to spend the evening with Teri again. She makes all that stuff better just by being there. Now I'm really looking forward to our upcoming weekend near Detroit. No, it's not actually in Detroit. I'm sure that where we'll be has been nice more recently than when it was a forest.
Monday, June 16, 2008
YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A PRETTY FLOWER!!!
So yesterday Teri took me on a Mystery Date (this one, not this one) to the Rose Festival at the Park of Roses in Whetstone Park in Columbus (that's a lot of prepositional phrases). It was very sweet of her, and a good time was had by all (Sparky came with us too). What I did notice is that apparently roses and Rose Festivals bring out the lesbians in droves. Honestly, just being there made me feel even more like a lesbian trapped in a man's body than normal. My inner lesbian just wanted to get gay all over Teri. I controlled myself though. I am a gentleman after all. There was one particular "couple" that looked more manly than me. Just looking at them made me feel effeminate and I wondered to myself if the even more butch of the two had a larger package than me. I honestly don't ever want to get the answer to that question...for a number of reasons, most of which are vomit-inducing. We also discussed Jazz's theory on lesbians that they're just "women in their 40's who have given up on finding a man". Unlike the other lesbian couples, Teri and I went home in her Honda, not in a Subaru. On our way home though I spotted another lesbian couple on a motorcycle (dyke bike?) headed into the park.
No Darren, it's never as nice in real life as you hope it will be. It's a good thing Teri is so hawt to make up for the visual unpleasantness provided by others. She was like sorbet for my eyes. The cinnamon-coated pecans were like cinnamon-coated pecans for my mouth. Delicious. Thanks again for the wonderful mystery date Red.
So yesterday Teri took me on a Mystery Date (this one, not this one) to the Rose Festival at the Park of Roses in Whetstone Park in Columbus (that's a lot of prepositional phrases). It was very sweet of her, and a good time was had by all (Sparky came with us too). What I did notice is that apparently roses and Rose Festivals bring out the lesbians in droves. Honestly, just being there made me feel even more like a lesbian trapped in a man's body than normal. My inner lesbian just wanted to get gay all over Teri. I controlled myself though. I am a gentleman after all. There was one particular "couple" that looked more manly than me. Just looking at them made me feel effeminate and I wondered to myself if the even more butch of the two had a larger package than me. I honestly don't ever want to get the answer to that question...for a number of reasons, most of which are vomit-inducing. We also discussed Jazz's theory on lesbians that they're just "women in their 40's who have given up on finding a man". Unlike the other lesbian couples, Teri and I went home in her Honda, not in a Subaru. On our way home though I spotted another lesbian couple on a motorcycle (dyke bike?) headed into the park.
No Darren, it's never as nice in real life as you hope it will be. It's a good thing Teri is so hawt to make up for the visual unpleasantness provided by others. She was like sorbet for my eyes. The cinnamon-coated pecans were like cinnamon-coated pecans for my mouth. Delicious. Thanks again for the wonderful mystery date Red.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Fight! Fight! Fight!
There's quite the interesting grudge match going on today, and you might not have even noticed it. As you know, today is Friday the 13th, a bringer of bad luck. When I opened the door to get in my car to head to work this morning, there it was on the door sill staring back at me. Abe Lincoln's bearded mug on the top of the Lucky Penny. Which will win? The day on the calendar or the copper coinage? So far it's too close to call. I guess I have the rest of the day to figure that out.
There's quite the interesting grudge match going on today, and you might not have even noticed it. As you know, today is Friday the 13th, a bringer of bad luck. When I opened the door to get in my car to head to work this morning, there it was on the door sill staring back at me. Abe Lincoln's bearded mug on the top of the Lucky Penny. Which will win? The day on the calendar or the copper coinage? So far it's too close to call. I guess I have the rest of the day to figure that out.
Friday, June 06, 2008
It's Not So Much The Heat As The Humidity
Three cheers for tired Midwestern summertime cliches! After getting sick of hearing this refrain multiple times every single summer of my life, I've taken it upon myself to beat it into the ground as much as possible to cut other people off at the pass. Sure, it may make me "that guy", but it's less irritating to me than for you to be "that guy". From what I've seen of the temperatures of the upcoming week, it looks like my new hobby is going to be sweating like a whore in church.
Summer may bring oppressive heat, but it's not all bad. This weekend is the Arts Fest, and it has been brought to my attention that, in addition to possibly finding some art I like, there will also be elephant ears. Elephant ears are the best fair food of all time. If you disagree, then you obviously are some sort of retard. Funnel cakes and corn dogs are fantastic in their own ways, but neither one is fit to carry an elephant ear's jock strap. Okay, so food probably doesn't need a jock strap, but I imagine that an elephant ear would be near the front of the line for such equipment if it did.
Where am I going with this? What's my point? Where are my pants? I have no idea. This is just me in rare word-vomit form. Since I've never been to the Arts Festival, I'm not quite sure what to expect. However, my best guess is that, even with the summer fair food, there will be much less of a white trash atmosphere than you get at carnivals and such. As much as I dislike hanging out in the presence of white trash, they are fascinating to watch from a distance. Mayhap Teri and I will need to hit some podunk small town carnival/fair later in the summer for that activity. It's been a while since I've been asked "You ain't from around here are you boy?". Good times.
Three cheers for tired Midwestern summertime cliches! After getting sick of hearing this refrain multiple times every single summer of my life, I've taken it upon myself to beat it into the ground as much as possible to cut other people off at the pass. Sure, it may make me "that guy", but it's less irritating to me than for you to be "that guy". From what I've seen of the temperatures of the upcoming week, it looks like my new hobby is going to be sweating like a whore in church.
Summer may bring oppressive heat, but it's not all bad. This weekend is the Arts Fest, and it has been brought to my attention that, in addition to possibly finding some art I like, there will also be elephant ears. Elephant ears are the best fair food of all time. If you disagree, then you obviously are some sort of retard. Funnel cakes and corn dogs are fantastic in their own ways, but neither one is fit to carry an elephant ear's jock strap. Okay, so food probably doesn't need a jock strap, but I imagine that an elephant ear would be near the front of the line for such equipment if it did.
Where am I going with this? What's my point? Where are my pants? I have no idea. This is just me in rare word-vomit form. Since I've never been to the Arts Festival, I'm not quite sure what to expect. However, my best guess is that, even with the summer fair food, there will be much less of a white trash atmosphere than you get at carnivals and such. As much as I dislike hanging out in the presence of white trash, they are fascinating to watch from a distance. Mayhap Teri and I will need to hit some podunk small town carnival/fair later in the summer for that activity. It's been a while since I've been asked "You ain't from around here are you boy?". Good times.
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